my modesty was insulted by a cockroach tonight.

 

i was leisurely taking my bath as usual; shampooing my hair, soaping my body then removing my eye makeup when i noticed something crawling around on the ceiling from the corner of my eye.

 

at first i thought it was a moth.

 

now, i’m alright around lizards, spiders, beetles and even huge moths. the only insect i absolutely, extremely detest, is the cockroach.  

 

somehow, cockroaches seem to have a mind of their own, and an evil one at that.

notice they don’t attack those who don’t fear them, but tend to fly/scurry after those who do?

even when you try your darnedest not to show it, they are somehow able to sense the innate fear in you.

 

anyway, i digress. 

 

i took a closer look, and the series of thoughts that took place after ran like that.  

 

shit! it’s a fucking roach! omg omg, where did it come from?

*notices open window*  

fuck! ARGH ARGH! omg, okay okay, eileen stay calm! okay! don’t show that you’re scared! breathe! breathe!

*notices roach curling and uncurling its feelers*

EWRGH! okay, eileen! try to inch your way around it. quick! find a way to defend yourself!

 

so my immediate response was to open the other window and the door (so that the dammed thing can fly out), keep the showerhead running (so it won’t dare fly near me), keep the hose running (so it won’t dare fly near my legs), turn on yet another sprinkler and hold it in front of me (so it won’t for its life fly near me) and stare at it.

 

then realising i was stark naked and left exposed should someone open my mum’s bedroom door, i hurriedly grabbed my towel and wrapped it around me.

 

while thoughts of the cockroach were racing through my mind, i was also highly worried that my mum would be woken up by the sound of running water.

 

her bed is exactly opposite the bathroom you see, so should she open an eye, she can see her darling daughter in her birthday suit, with hair plastered to her scalp, water running down her body and a crazed expression on her face.

 

not exactly the sort of thing you would like to see when you wake up. (exceptions can be made for horny boyfriends)

 

so i was darting back and forth in the toilet, trying to avoid the open door, yet trying to avoid the roach which would occasionally decide to fly towards me just to give me a little scare.

 

whenever it flew towards me, i would clutch my towel tightly to myself, then spray the showerhead wildly while running around like a lost chicken.

 

i think i spent a total of 20 minutes doing that.

 

when i finally decided enough is enough! i slowly shifted all the things i needed to the ground right outside the bathroom, all the while keeping a watchful eye on the roach that was perched on the plastic hanger where us girls hung all our undergarments. (i swear i’m so gonna scrub it, HARD tomorrow)

 

i was just giving my contact lens case a light swing when my mum woke up.

 

of course, the moment she did, she saw whatever i didn’t want her to see: her darling daughter wrapped up in a dripping towel, with hair plastered to her scalp, water running down her body and a crazed expression on her face.

 

and i forgot to mention, wielding a running showerhead and a hose.

 

so naturally, she shouted at me.

 

i told her about the cockroach, which at that moment, looked right about flying straight at me again.

 

she continued shouting.

 

i decided to make a run for it.

 

holding the showerhead in front me like a shield, i inched towards my clothes which were on a rack right beside the pest, grabbed them, ran out of the bathroom, slammed the door shut and turned off the lights.

 

and then i breathed.

 

and my mum was still shouting.

 

i decided to save my breath on her, and went out to the main bathroom to continue my bath, all the while thanking my lucky stars for that escape.

 

eileen - 1, roach - 0.

 

p.s: i hope my mum gets a good scare when she enters the bathroom tomorrow.

 

 

- - - - - - -

edit:

spied the mother killing the cockroach right after i finish my bath.

 

bah!

 

oh well, can’t blame me, she’s had 27 more years of experience killing roaches than i do. emoticon

 

/edit.